We Are the Sum of Our Experiences

27 August 2025

Human beings are not born as blank slates. We bring our inherited genes and our gestation and birth experiences with us.

From the moment we begin to exist, the world begins to leave its mark. Every interaction, every moment of love or pain, safety or threat, slowly shapes who we are.

This process has been likened to sedimentation, layers upon layers of experience settling over time, compacting into the bedrock of our character.

In childhood, this layering happens rapidly. A smile from a parent, a raised voice, a moment of neglect, all of it is absorbed into our developing sense of self. These early experiences become instinctive reference points. As we grow, we may forget the events themselves, but their emotional imprint lives on.

'Like a river carving out a valley, experience sculpts our expectations, reactions, and beliefs.'

By adulthood, we often act on instincts formed long ago. We may shrink from conflict, overcompensate for approval, or repeat patterns we don’t fully understand. These behaviours feel natural, but they are often echoes of our past, not choices freely made in the present.

While sedimentary rock is hard, it’s not unbreakable. With effort, insight, and often therapy, we too can change. We can examine which instincts serve us, and which hold us back.

Not easy work. But it is possible. We can reshape the contours of our lives.

To understand ourselves, we must understand where we come from.

The more we understand the stories written into us, the more power we have to write new ones.

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